45. Family Reunion Picnic Bug Repellent- Use
flutaphones as citronella candle holders. Stick the sharp
end in the ground and balance the candles on the wide
mouth end.
46. Family Reunion Game Part Replacement- If for
some reason the goalstick thingy from the croquet set
should be missing, the flutaphone can be used as a
substitute! Again, sharp end into the ground!
47. Family Reunion Etiquette Instruction Device-
When two or more of your younger relatives reach for
the last piece of cornbread for themselves, rap their
wrists gently and firmly while commenting on the lack of
manners in their generation. Then, reverse the flutaphone
for the next step…
48. Family Reunion Food Fetcher- Use the flutaphone
to pull the plate with the last piece of cornbread closer to
you. If someone else tries to take the last piece, spear it
with the mouthpiece.(NOTE-Be sure you have cleaned
off the mouthpiece end if you have used it as a citronella
candle holder or as part of the croquet game.))
and FINALLY….
49. Family Reunion Picnic Fanfare Instrument-to
announce the end of the picnic, and to let everyone know
that you have at last finished the list of 49 Genealogical
Uses for a Flutaphone!!
Showing posts with label flutaphones. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flutaphones. Show all posts
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
49 GENEALOGICAL USES FOR A FLUTAPHONE #43
Unit of Measurement- Use your flutaphone to measure the
depth of the water in your basement caused by the Rain
Storms of `08. Confound future generations of family
historians by writing an entry in your daily journal:
"The neighborhood flooded and there was water 8
flutaphones deep downstairs.”
depth of the water in your basement caused by the Rain
Storms of `08. Confound future generations of family
historians by writing an entry in your daily journal:
"The neighborhood flooded and there was water 8
flutaphones deep downstairs.”
Thursday, March 06, 2008
SPRINGTIME FOR FLUTAPHONES
So by shameless reference to how several of my fellow
geneabloggers made use of flutaphones in the Genealogists'
Parade and by thinking of the approach of warmer weather,
I've some more Genealogical Uses of the Flutaphone
to add to the list:
34. Genealogists’ Parade Prop-Musical Accompaniment
-to the song “15 Miles on the Erie canal” on Apple’s float.
35. Genealogists’ Parade Prop-Musical Accompaniment
- to the song “Amazing Grace” on Becky’s kinnexions float.
36. Genealogists’ Parade Prop-Musical Accompaniment
-to the polka dancers on Jasia’s Polish American float.
37. Genealogists’ Parade Prop-Agricultural- A corn stalk
whacker on Randy’s Genea-Musings flat.
38. Moose Defense- As the snow melts and old cemeteries
in more remote northern regions become accessible, use
caution when approaching those sites that might be in areas
where brush and trees are thick. Give several loud notes on
your flutaphone to warn off any mooses (or its that meece?)
in the area of your approach and hopefully you will scare
them away. If on the other hand you see a large moose
approaching with an amorous glint in its eye, use a different
sequence of notes. Quickly. If that fails, run.
39. Goose Defense- Use the flutaphone to ward off flocks of
Canadian geese that might be attracted by your attempts at
warding off the moose.
40. Bear Defense- If as you retreat from the cemetery
back to the safety of your car you should encounter a black
bear, try using the pointed mouthpiece end of your flutaphone
to tickle the bear while saying “kitchy kitch koo.” Then run.
(Warning: Should this be successful, remember to thoroughly
wash the mouthpiece before playing the flutaphone again. You
don’t know what sort of germs may lurk in a bear’s armpit.)
41. Surrender Flag- If there are hunters in the vicinity who
mistake your flutaphone notes for the mating calls of Canadian
geese and they start shooting in your direction, quickly tie
some length of cloth to the end of your flutaphone and wave
the flag vigorously while screaming: “I am a human being!
I am NOT a goose!” (Warning: Do not do this if you are
already being chased by an amorous moose and a non-ticklish
bear. In that instance, the smart thing to do is to just keep
running.)
42. Genealogy Record Retrieval- When you are certain that
the moose, bear, geese and hunters are gone, return to the
cemetery and use the pointed end of the flutaphone to
hygienically pick up whatever is left of the paperwork you
might have dropped and upon which the moose, bear,
geese, and hunters might have left signs of their extreme
displeasure in the encounter.
Only 7 more to go to 49!!
geneabloggers made use of flutaphones in the Genealogists'
Parade and by thinking of the approach of warmer weather,
I've some more Genealogical Uses of the Flutaphone
to add to the list:
34. Genealogists’ Parade Prop-Musical Accompaniment
-to the song “15 Miles on the Erie canal” on Apple’s float.
35. Genealogists’ Parade Prop-Musical Accompaniment
- to the song “Amazing Grace” on Becky’s kinnexions float.
36. Genealogists’ Parade Prop-Musical Accompaniment
-to the polka dancers on Jasia’s Polish American float.
37. Genealogists’ Parade Prop-Agricultural- A corn stalk
whacker on Randy’s Genea-Musings flat.
38. Moose Defense- As the snow melts and old cemeteries
in more remote northern regions become accessible, use
caution when approaching those sites that might be in areas
where brush and trees are thick. Give several loud notes on
your flutaphone to warn off any mooses (or its that meece?)
in the area of your approach and hopefully you will scare
them away. If on the other hand you see a large moose
approaching with an amorous glint in its eye, use a different
sequence of notes. Quickly. If that fails, run.
39. Goose Defense- Use the flutaphone to ward off flocks of
Canadian geese that might be attracted by your attempts at
warding off the moose.
40. Bear Defense- If as you retreat from the cemetery
back to the safety of your car you should encounter a black
bear, try using the pointed mouthpiece end of your flutaphone
to tickle the bear while saying “kitchy kitch koo.” Then run.
(Warning: Should this be successful, remember to thoroughly
wash the mouthpiece before playing the flutaphone again. You
don’t know what sort of germs may lurk in a bear’s armpit.)
41. Surrender Flag- If there are hunters in the vicinity who
mistake your flutaphone notes for the mating calls of Canadian
geese and they start shooting in your direction, quickly tie
some length of cloth to the end of your flutaphone and wave
the flag vigorously while screaming: “I am a human being!
I am NOT a goose!” (Warning: Do not do this if you are
already being chased by an amorous moose and a non-ticklish
bear. In that instance, the smart thing to do is to just keep
running.)
42. Genealogy Record Retrieval- When you are certain that
the moose, bear, geese and hunters are gone, return to the
cemetery and use the pointed end of the flutaphone to
hygienically pick up whatever is left of the paperwork you
might have dropped and upon which the moose, bear,
geese, and hunters might have left signs of their extreme
displeasure in the encounter.
Only 7 more to go to 49!!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
GENEALOGY BRUNCH...WITH FLUTAPHONES
Today is the 280th anniversary of my 6x great grandparents
Jonathan Barker and Mary Abbott. Mary is from a different
line than the rest of my Abbott relatives, being the daughter
of Joseph Abbott and Sarah Devereaux and granddaughter of
Thomas Abbott of Marblehead.
I’ll have much more to say about Jonathan at a later date,
thanks to the information I’ve received first from N. and then
from H. (They’ll just be initials here until and unless I get
their permission to use their full names.) At one time I knew
less about my Barker line than any others on my Dad’s side
of the family and now thanks to what I’ve learned I know
more about them than any of my ancestors except the
Abbotts and Ellingwoods. In fact today I received in the mail
a cd from H. with even more Barker history. It’s going to take
a few days to digest all this!
I’ve been on vacation this week and I hate cold weather so
I’ve had time to spend on printing and organizing family
sheets, do some digging online and redo the labels here on
the blog.
And since Janice asked a few days ago where we were on the
49 Genealogy Uses for a Flutaphone, I present:
#28 Measuring Instrument
“... as a measuring instrument in genealogy cemetery
searches during the summer: Just how long was that snake
among the headstones? How many flutaphones long?” -Terry
#29 Decoration- as a holder for broccoli sprouts on
Schelly’s float in the Genealogists Parade.
#30 Prybar- To help remove your backside from the chair
you’ve been sitting in for hours as you stare at the screen of
the computer tracking an elusive ancestor.
#31 Physical therapy- When your hands and wrists begin to
ache from hours of typing, do the following exercise: hold the
flutaphone with both hands at either end and extend your
arms straight out, hands palm side down and flex your wrists
downward. after three repetitions, turn your hands palms
side up and still grasping the flutaphone, flex your wrists
back towards your chest. Repeat three times Then still
grasping the flutaphone bend your arms up and down over
head and then thrust them out and in vigorously in front of
your chest. (WARNING:DO NOT DO THIS WHILE SITTING
WITHIN ARMS’ LENGTH OF YOUR COMPUTER
MONITOR!!) Not only is this therapeutic but it is good
practice for...
#32 Stage Prop -in a “Syncopated Genealogist” dance
routine for Talent Night on your next genealogy cruise.
Combine the moves from the physical therapy exercise with a
nifty soft shoe dance!(see Janice, our Music Director for more
details.)
Man, 17 more to go.
Sigh.
Jonathan Barker and Mary Abbott. Mary is from a different
line than the rest of my Abbott relatives, being the daughter
of Joseph Abbott and Sarah Devereaux and granddaughter of
Thomas Abbott of Marblehead.
I’ll have much more to say about Jonathan at a later date,
thanks to the information I’ve received first from N. and then
from H. (They’ll just be initials here until and unless I get
their permission to use their full names.) At one time I knew
less about my Barker line than any others on my Dad’s side
of the family and now thanks to what I’ve learned I know
more about them than any of my ancestors except the
Abbotts and Ellingwoods. In fact today I received in the mail
a cd from H. with even more Barker history. It’s going to take
a few days to digest all this!
I’ve been on vacation this week and I hate cold weather so
I’ve had time to spend on printing and organizing family
sheets, do some digging online and redo the labels here on
the blog.
And since Janice asked a few days ago where we were on the
49 Genealogy Uses for a Flutaphone, I present:
#28 Measuring Instrument
“... as a measuring instrument in genealogy cemetery
searches during the summer: Just how long was that snake
among the headstones? How many flutaphones long?” -Terry
#29 Decoration- as a holder for broccoli sprouts on
Schelly’s float in the Genealogists Parade.
#30 Prybar- To help remove your backside from the chair
you’ve been sitting in for hours as you stare at the screen of
the computer tracking an elusive ancestor.
#31 Physical therapy- When your hands and wrists begin to
ache from hours of typing, do the following exercise: hold the
flutaphone with both hands at either end and extend your
arms straight out, hands palm side down and flex your wrists
downward. after three repetitions, turn your hands palms
side up and still grasping the flutaphone, flex your wrists
back towards your chest. Repeat three times Then still
grasping the flutaphone bend your arms up and down over
head and then thrust them out and in vigorously in front of
your chest. (WARNING:DO NOT DO THIS WHILE SITTING
WITHIN ARMS’ LENGTH OF YOUR COMPUTER
MONITOR!!) Not only is this therapeutic but it is good
practice for...
#32 Stage Prop -in a “Syncopated Genealogist” dance
routine for Talent Night on your next genealogy cruise.
Combine the moves from the physical therapy exercise with a
nifty soft shoe dance!(see Janice, our Music Director for more
details.)
Man, 17 more to go.
Sigh.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
49 GENEALOGY USES FOR A FLUTAPHONE ON PARADE!
#29 - Baton- What could be more appropriate to use when you're
leading the Genealogist’s Parade in the immortal musical
“The Genealogy Man?”
Come on, sing it with me:
“76 Laptops lead the big parade
With 110 PDAs close at hand
They were followed by rows and rows
Of folks who wisely know
To keep their gedcoms close at hand!”
So. A challenge to my fellow genealogy bloggers. It’s the
Genealogist’s Parade and you have a float in it. It can
be on anything or anyone in your family tree or it can reflect
your heritage. It can be serious or humorous.
What’s on your float? Post it here or on your blog but let me
know so we can run them here past the Review Stand!
leading the Genealogist’s Parade in the immortal musical
“The Genealogy Man?”
Come on, sing it with me:
“76 Laptops lead the big parade
With 110 PDAs close at hand
They were followed by rows and rows
Of folks who wisely know
To keep their gedcoms close at hand!”
So. A challenge to my fellow genealogy bloggers. It’s the
Genealogist’s Parade and you have a float in it. It can
be on anything or anyone in your family tree or it can reflect
your heritage. It can be serious or humorous.
What’s on your float? Post it here or on your blog but let me
know so we can run them here past the Review Stand!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
49 GENEALOGY USES FOR A FLUTAPHONE MARCHES ON!
#27 Measuring instrument: To measure the amount of snowfall
when you visit the grave of 3x great uncle Oswald, as in,
"I had difficulty in finding Oswald's headstone as the grave was
buried in snow over two flutaphones deep!"
when you visit the grave of 3x great uncle Oswald, as in,
"I had difficulty in finding Oswald's headstone as the grave was
buried in snow over two flutaphones deep!"
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
GENEALOGY RESOLUTIONS FOR 2008
Well, it’s that time of year when folks make New Year’s r
esolutions and we genealogy bloggers are busy making our lists.
So here’s mine.
One, to break that John Cutter West brick wall.
Two, to spend more time on my maternal line. I’ve found so
much lately about Dad’s side of the family that I feel like I’ve
neglected the Whites and McFarlands. So I’ll research more and
blog more about them and try to break down those brick walls
as well.
Three, to get my files better organized and correctly cite my
sources.
Four, try to make it out to Ohio some time next year to visit
with my Aunt Dorothy and my cousins, including Diana and
Louise.
Five, try to get OUT to do research at the BPL main branch, the
NEGHS, the Massachusetts State Archives and the Hingham
Family Search Center.
Six, get all the pictures scanned. I am considering rearranging
my work station. At present, the printer is on the top shelf and
getting up and down to place or remove pictures may be good for
my health but it sure slows down the process. I may swap the
printer/scanner with the cpu.
Seven, come up with more genealogy related uses for flutaphones!
So, we’ll see how well I’ve done by next New Years!
esolutions and we genealogy bloggers are busy making our lists.
So here’s mine.
One, to break that John Cutter West brick wall.
Two, to spend more time on my maternal line. I’ve found so
much lately about Dad’s side of the family that I feel like I’ve
neglected the Whites and McFarlands. So I’ll research more and
blog more about them and try to break down those brick walls
as well.
Three, to get my files better organized and correctly cite my
sources.
Four, try to make it out to Ohio some time next year to visit
with my Aunt Dorothy and my cousins, including Diana and
Louise.
Five, try to get OUT to do research at the BPL main branch, the
NEGHS, the Massachusetts State Archives and the Hingham
Family Search Center.
Six, get all the pictures scanned. I am considering rearranging
my work station. At present, the printer is on the top shelf and
getting up and down to place or remove pictures may be good for
my health but it sure slows down the process. I may swap the
printer/scanner with the cpu.
Seven, come up with more genealogy related uses for flutaphones!
So, we’ll see how well I’ve done by next New Years!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
CHRISTMAS ENTERTAINMENT
As far as I can recall, none of the family ever attended a
professional entertainment event during the holidays.
I’m sure there were school events for my sister and brother but
the only one I recall that I was involved in was in the first or
second grade. It was some sort of Christmas lights event at the
Linden Elementary School in Malden that was held outside the
main entrance at night. We sang carols and yes, played some on
our flutaphones.
The next year we had moved to Dorchester and I was at the
Frank V. Thompson School. I don’t remember any holiday shows
there and I certainly didn’t go around playing a flutaphone in
that neighborhood!
This post is part of the Advent Calendar of Christmas Memories
at Thomas MacEntee's Destination:Austin Family.Visit it for
links to the Christmas memories of other genealogy bloggers!
professional entertainment event during the holidays.
I’m sure there were school events for my sister and brother but
the only one I recall that I was involved in was in the first or
second grade. It was some sort of Christmas lights event at the
Linden Elementary School in Malden that was held outside the
main entrance at night. We sang carols and yes, played some on
our flutaphones.
The next year we had moved to Dorchester and I was at the
Frank V. Thompson School. I don’t remember any holiday shows
there and I certainly didn’t go around playing a flutaphone in
that neighborhood!
This post is part of the Advent Calendar of Christmas Memories
at Thomas MacEntee's Destination:Austin Family.Visit it for
links to the Christmas memories of other genealogy bloggers!
Monday, November 26, 2007
49 GENEALOGY USES FOR A FLUTAPHONE REDUX
Alright, it's been a slow few days out there in genealogy blog
country and here as well.
This has given me the chance to ponder the 49 Genealogical Uses
for a Flutaphone list and to update and make corrections.
So here is the new, updated, expanded, and revised list so
far, with new entries in honor of Dick Eastman's recent
post comparing the various genealogy cruises. If I missed
any contributions from other bloggers please let me know
and I'll re-revise!
1. Doorstop- It’s more humane than using dead cats or dead
Wesley Crushers. And it smells better.
2. Windchimes
3. A Habitat trail for Earthworms-All those finger holes.
“The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out…”
4. Tank decoration for guppies- All those finger holes.“
The fish swim in, the fish swim out…”
5. A defensive weapon-For when that librarian finally
snaps when you ask her to find another dusty volume in
the stacks. Mouthpieces on flutaphones are pointy!!!
6. A diversion: used to exit an overly proprietary historical
society. Make some noise behind the bookshelf with it, and
while the volunteer is investigating the noise, grab your
first born child (the one being held hostage to make sure
you don't steal anything) and run like hell. (Janice)
7. Learn a snake charmers tune and play it when you need
to hypnotize a records clerk to get them to check the books
one more time for that record you KNOW is there.
(apple)
8. A pry-bar, to break into old file drawers that have been
holding your genealogical notes from 20 years ago. You've
moved a few times, and lost the key. (Janice)
9. Flower holder- for when you visit the ancestral grave.
Stick sharp pointy mouthpiece into the ground and your
flowers into the other end of the flutaphone.
10. Bookmark-When you have to leave your chair for a
moment to ask the librarian to find you another genealogy
book in the stacks.NOTE- DO NOT LET THE LIBRARIAN
SEE YOU DO THIS!!
11. Bookfetcher- That particular tome on a shelf you can’t
quite reach? Using the pointy mouthpiece end, gently rock
the book loose and down.
12. Bookcatcher- See above. Quickly reverse the
flutaphone to catch the falling book on the wide-ended
mouth. If the librarian notices, tell her you are practicing
balancing the books.
13. Eartrumpet- For when a librarian starts yelling. Insert
narrow end in ear after REMOVING the pointy mouthpiece.
Remember, catch any books before they hit the floor if you
were performing uses numbers 11 and/or 12 when the
librarian started yelling. Turn wide end towards librarian
and say “Eh?”
14.Backpatter - to pat your own back when you have
solved a particularly difficult family genealogical mystery.
Caution: do not run while performing this action, or you
may put your eye out. (Janice)
15. Temporary flag pole. Tape a patriots napkin
(preferably one with a patriots logo). Wave wildly when
the Patriots score. (Janice)
16. Distress Signal. IF you become lost in the stacks of a
major genealogical library, DO NOT PANIC! Use your
flutaphone to summon help by blowing as hard as you can
on through the mouthpiece. A series of the highest and
most shrill notes will be most efficacious and a friendly
librarian will arrive to escort you safely back to your chair.
17. Use for a Flutaphone--Car Buddy: it easily slips over
your car antenna (you ARE still driving the vehicle you
bought in 1960 right?) and helps you to locate your vintage
auto in the research library parking lot (when you leave the
library all bleary-eyed). (Janice)
18. Hidden Message DeCoder. It is a long held deep dark
secret that when a flutaphone is held lengthwise under a
bright light over a line of text that certain words in the text
are illuminated to reveal hidden messages only you can see.
It is recommended you only employ this method when there
is no one else present nearby who might steal the secret
message. Send the librarian back into the stacks first for
another obscure text to ensure they will not see you!
19. Treasure Finder- Another little known fact is that when
a flutaphone is held in a certain way outside on a bright
sunshiny day while the holder nonchalantly hums “I Can
See Clearly Now” the reflection of the flutaphone will
reveal the spot where buried treasure is hidden. There have
been recent reports of genealogy bloggers wandering about
Northern New England employing this technique while
searching for the legendary Money Pit. No one has found it
yet but there have been complaints from angry hunters who
claim “the damn humming scared all the deer away!”
20.Social Icebreaker- Use your flutaphone to socially break
the ice on your first Genealogy Cruise. Amaze and delight
your fellow genealogists with your musical prowess and
your unique knowledge of the more arcane uses of the
legendary musical instrument.
21. Nautical Distress Signal- If you should be accidentally
bumped overboard from the Genealogy Cruise ship or
set adrift in a lifeboat during the lifeboat drill. Keep the
flutaphone dry and periodically blow a series of high shrill
notes to help rescuers locate you.
22. Dolphin Repeller- To ward off overly friendly dolphins
who mistake your distress signal for the an invitation
to socialize
23. Icebreaker- Use the sharp flutaphone mouthpiece to chip
away at the ice forming around your lifeboat. Reciting your
pedigree while chipping might make the time go faster.
24.Paddle- Use the flutaphone to help propel your lifeboat after
the Genealogy Cruise ship. Note- If you were accidentally
bumped overboard, forget paddling. Grasp the flutaphone firmly
in your teeth so you don’t lose it and swim after the ship instead!
25. Safety Device- Once you’ve been rescued, use the flutaphone
to ensure you remain safely aboard afterwards by keeping your
fellow genealogists at least one flutaphone length away from you
on deck. Hold the sharp mouthpiece end outwards towards them
at all times!
country and here as well.
This has given me the chance to ponder the 49 Genealogical Uses
for a Flutaphone list and to update and make corrections.
So here is the new, updated, expanded, and revised list so
far, with new entries in honor of Dick Eastman's recent
post comparing the various genealogy cruises. If I missed
any contributions from other bloggers please let me know
and I'll re-revise!
1. Doorstop- It’s more humane than using dead cats or dead
Wesley Crushers. And it smells better.
2. Windchimes
3. A Habitat trail for Earthworms-All those finger holes.
“The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out…”
4. Tank decoration for guppies- All those finger holes.“
The fish swim in, the fish swim out…”
5. A defensive weapon-For when that librarian finally
snaps when you ask her to find another dusty volume in
the stacks. Mouthpieces on flutaphones are pointy!!!
6. A diversion: used to exit an overly proprietary historical
society. Make some noise behind the bookshelf with it, and
while the volunteer is investigating the noise, grab your
first born child (the one being held hostage to make sure
you don't steal anything) and run like hell. (Janice)
7. Learn a snake charmers tune and play it when you need
to hypnotize a records clerk to get them to check the books
one more time for that record you KNOW is there.
(apple)
8. A pry-bar, to break into old file drawers that have been
holding your genealogical notes from 20 years ago. You've
moved a few times, and lost the key. (Janice)
9. Flower holder- for when you visit the ancestral grave.
Stick sharp pointy mouthpiece into the ground and your
flowers into the other end of the flutaphone.
10. Bookmark-When you have to leave your chair for a
moment to ask the librarian to find you another genealogy
book in the stacks.NOTE- DO NOT LET THE LIBRARIAN
SEE YOU DO THIS!!
11. Bookfetcher- That particular tome on a shelf you can’t
quite reach? Using the pointy mouthpiece end, gently rock
the book loose and down.
12. Bookcatcher- See above. Quickly reverse the
flutaphone to catch the falling book on the wide-ended
mouth. If the librarian notices, tell her you are practicing
balancing the books.
13. Eartrumpet- For when a librarian starts yelling. Insert
narrow end in ear after REMOVING the pointy mouthpiece.
Remember, catch any books before they hit the floor if you
were performing uses numbers 11 and/or 12 when the
librarian started yelling. Turn wide end towards librarian
and say “Eh?”
14.Backpatter - to pat your own back when you have
solved a particularly difficult family genealogical mystery.
Caution: do not run while performing this action, or you
may put your eye out. (Janice)
15. Temporary flag pole. Tape a patriots napkin
(preferably one with a patriots logo). Wave wildly when
the Patriots score. (Janice)
16. Distress Signal. IF you become lost in the stacks of a
major genealogical library, DO NOT PANIC! Use your
flutaphone to summon help by blowing as hard as you can
on through the mouthpiece. A series of the highest and
most shrill notes will be most efficacious and a friendly
librarian will arrive to escort you safely back to your chair.
17. Use for a Flutaphone--Car Buddy: it easily slips over
your car antenna (you ARE still driving the vehicle you
bought in 1960 right?) and helps you to locate your vintage
auto in the research library parking lot (when you leave the
library all bleary-eyed). (Janice)
18. Hidden Message DeCoder. It is a long held deep dark
secret that when a flutaphone is held lengthwise under a
bright light over a line of text that certain words in the text
are illuminated to reveal hidden messages only you can see.
It is recommended you only employ this method when there
is no one else present nearby who might steal the secret
message. Send the librarian back into the stacks first for
another obscure text to ensure they will not see you!
19. Treasure Finder- Another little known fact is that when
a flutaphone is held in a certain way outside on a bright
sunshiny day while the holder nonchalantly hums “I Can
See Clearly Now” the reflection of the flutaphone will
reveal the spot where buried treasure is hidden. There have
been recent reports of genealogy bloggers wandering about
Northern New England employing this technique while
searching for the legendary Money Pit. No one has found it
yet but there have been complaints from angry hunters who
claim “the damn humming scared all the deer away!”
20.Social Icebreaker- Use your flutaphone to socially break
the ice on your first Genealogy Cruise. Amaze and delight
your fellow genealogists with your musical prowess and
your unique knowledge of the more arcane uses of the
legendary musical instrument.
21. Nautical Distress Signal- If you should be accidentally
bumped overboard from the Genealogy Cruise ship or
set adrift in a lifeboat during the lifeboat drill. Keep the
flutaphone dry and periodically blow a series of high shrill
notes to help rescuers locate you.
22. Dolphin Repeller- To ward off overly friendly dolphins
who mistake your distress signal for the an invitation
to socialize
23. Icebreaker- Use the sharp flutaphone mouthpiece to chip
away at the ice forming around your lifeboat. Reciting your
pedigree while chipping might make the time go faster.
24.Paddle- Use the flutaphone to help propel your lifeboat after
the Genealogy Cruise ship. Note- If you were accidentally
bumped overboard, forget paddling. Grasp the flutaphone firmly
in your teeth so you don’t lose it and swim after the ship instead!
25. Safety Device- Once you’ve been rescued, use the flutaphone
to ensure you remain safely aboard afterwards by keeping your
fellow genealogists at least one flutaphone length away from you
on deck. Hold the sharp mouthpiece end outwards towards them
at all times!
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