With the recent discussion among my genealogy friends about the competitive nature of some FindAgrave volunteers and how it sometimes hurts the relatives of the recently deceased, I thought I'd share some thoughts of how and why of my own experience at FindAGrave.
I joined FindAGrave over eight years as something to do that got me out of my apartment. At first i was just fulfilling photo requests but then I started taking photos of the older headstones in the cemeteries those were requests were in. I began doing that more often when I realized there were quite a few names from my own family tree on those old markers.
After a nearby town's cemetery was vandalized I started taking photos of the older markers at Mt. Vernon here in Abington, feeling that they were more likely to be permanently lost than the larger, modern headstones. I filed them on my computer in folders orgamized by the date they were taken. Then I've gone through the folders, checked the names on the headstones,against the FindAGrave site for Mt. Vernon and created a memorial if one had not already been done. If there is a memorial with no photo, I add the one I have to it.
Now, these are the rules I personally follow for my FindAGrave contributions:
1.I do not take photos of headstones who have died in the last 50 years except for photo requests.
2. If I am contacted with an edit for a memorial, I verify it wherever possible and then make that edit.
3 If a relative asks me to transfer ownership of their loved one's memorial, I do it as soon as I see the request.
4. If I have inadvertently created a duplicate memorial, I delete it.
5. I do not create memorials for graves I have not actually seen. No use of obituaries. No assumption that just because a person lived in a specific town, than he has to have been buried in that town's cemetery. Now that FindAGrave is used as a hint on Ancestry, that assumption of where a person is buried will lead to the spread of bad information,
6. I don't look at contributing to FindAGrave as a competitive sport. I don't worry about how many memorials or photos I've added. I do take a look at the end of the year at those stats and how many volunteer photos I've taken, but that's it.
I'll repeat, FindAGrave is NOT a competitive sport. It's a way to help others, whether mourners or family researchers, and to perhaps help preserve local history.
That's how and why i "do" FindAGrave. How about you?
11 comments:
Bill, Thank you for your thoughtful post. I agree. It's not about how many memorials I can create. It's about trying to perform a service for others who may not be able to visit a cemetery;and as you said, to preserve an image of a deteriorating stone before the stone is gone forever. I also try to compare the information on the stone to the vital records when I can, and note any differences in the memorial. Stones often are placed years after the burial when memories have faded.
Thank you for this post. These are excellent rules! I had the apparently common experience of someone posting my mother's details before her funeral was over. Fortunately, it was a well-meaning volunteer who readily turned over management of her entry to me. Rules like yours would avoid this -- as would focusing on the oldest graves in a cemetery, as you recommend, which are far less likely to have been posted.
Well put! All Find A Grave volunteer should follow your guidelines
Rule 1.. Why did you pick 50 yrs and not 25 or 75?
The key word is to do it with "respect".
Your 50 year rule... I've been at a cemetery to take photo requests and had a 7 year old boy approach me wondering if I would help him and his grandmother find his father who'd died the year before. We spent close to an hour looking, but didn't find him. About an hour after they left, I found it. I created the memorial, add a picture with GPS tag. With the Find a Grave app I can search and walk right to the marker.
Another case in the same cemetery where I received thanks from a gentleman from France for adding the memorial of his cousin. She came to Canada through United States in 1949, married and her European family lost trace of her. She had passed away 10 years ago. The memorial helped a 70+ year old gentleman close a chapter of his life.
And unfortunately not everyone is buried with a grave marker, today nor through out history. Sometimes an obituary is all we have.
I do agree a certain amount if time should be observed, minimum 6 months to a year to allow family time to grieve and to add the memorial if the choose.
Thanks for this post. I don’t understand why anyone would do this in a competitive manner. I started doing it to help people. I do not know where my father is buried. But if I did and couldn’t get there myself, I would be so grateful if someone would take the time to take pictures for me. Also, even if their shadow was in the picture I would still be thankful. It should all come from the heart.
I respect your right to follow your conscience in waiting 6 months after the to create a mmemorial. Perhaps you are unaware that smaller cemeteries are utilizing Find A Grave as their "online directory". Do you expect them to 6 months to add a listing for their cemetery?
There are many reasons to use Find A Grave and we need to consider those iinterests because they are just as valid as ours.
Although we genealogists tend to think we are the only ones interested in cemeteries and who's buried where, that isn't true. Find A Grave appeals to people with many interests, not just genealogists. Many wonderful contributors are military historians, taphophiles, fans of movies and television, state and local historians, those interested in folk art (like vernacular markers), royalty watchers and many more! The site wasn't founded for genealogy and it still isn't just for genealogy. Mr. West participates in the way in which he feels comfortable so his rules are 100% right for him. Others can, and do, participate in the way which feels right to them - and it is! As long as we all follow the official rules of Find A Grave, we should be able to agree to not disparage others whose "right" is different than ours.
Here's the thing.
There needs to be somm coomon sense and common decency in how we use FindAgrave.
Last week here in my town a family of five was wiped out in a murder suicide. And within a day someone put memorials for the wife and three children on FindAgrave. They were not relatives.
The surviving family members hadn't finished planning for the burials, and since they came from another town there was no way to tell where they would be buried.
When I heard about this, I looked for the memorials to request they be taken down, but someone else had already beaten me to it and they were gone.
There are more and more instances of this happening and more complaints sent to Ancstry and FindAGrave. Unless we can use some common sense about how soon memorials are posted, Ancestry and FindAGrave eventually will give in to the pressure and make rules that might be
stricter.
By the way, I think it's a safe bet that genealogists are a major part of the FindAGrave contributors and users, which is why Ancestry bought the website in the first place.
Bill, with all due respect, genealogists may be "a major" segment of Find A Grave users but I seriously doubt they are the regular contributors who are the mainstays of the site, the ones who add every final disposition (since the site is not just for "graves") for which they have a source. Those other sources are equally, if not more important than mowing the rows. After all, no amount of mowing the rows is going to "find" an unmarked grave. What about the thousands of individuals at Hart Island (New York City's Potters Field)? By your personal rules, they should not be recorded on Find A Grave because they will never have a marker. In addition, Find A Grave wants cremations, burials at sea and those donated to science to be recorded, even if they do not have a marker in a cemetery some place, because Find A Grave states their purpose is to "find, record and present final disposition information from around the world". The mainstay contributors are the ones who built, and continue to build, the site into the success it is today, which made it financially attractive to Ancestry.
The 5 memorials you mention shouldn't have been created because they were "Burial Details Unknown" (you said there was no way to tell where they would be buried) not because of the timing. Known final disposition is the criteria for creating a memorial. Period.
You make it sound as though Ancestry Find A Grave will eventually "give in". What makes you think that? Memorials have been being created from obituaries for as long as I've known about Find A Grave as I remember memorials for the the victims at the Amish school shooting in 2006 were put up right away. There have been a variety of orchestrated letter-writing efforts over the years and yet rather than "giving in", Find A Grave wrote out a policy 3-4 years ago that specifically stated they "take no position" on when a memorial is created. Every time the subject is raised in their forums, they respond with that policy statement. They also use it when they respond to complaints received, according to the letter that was posted last week in an FB group.
Bill, thanks for a thought-provoking post.
When I visit the plot where ancestors are buried, I photograph many of the graves that surround those in my family and post those photos, regardless of how long ago the people were buried. My goal is to try to document a section of the cemetery to memorialize those who are buried there and make it easier for descendants to find someone's final resting place, not to boost my "stats" on Find a Grave.
I never post obituaries, nor do I research the people whose stones I photograph unless they are actual relatives. I do try to link husbands/wives/children who share a gravestone (just as I link all my family members on Find a Grave).
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